High Performance Communication Tools, Presentation Tips

Why You Should Enter a Room Like a Clown

If you think back to the beginning of your last presentation, you might naturally conjure an image of yourself facing an audience, about to speak your first words.

But can you recall the moments just before that, when you literally walked through the door?

The rich amount of data available to you as you enter a room—and the way you “read” the space and the people within it—can give you an invaluable advantage as a speaker.

By the same token, if you fail to pay close attention in those first moments you cross through the threshold, you put yourself at risk of disconnecting from your audience—and ultimately diminishing the impact of your talk.

When it comes to reading a room, we can learn a lot from the true experts on the subject—medical clowns.

Stand & Deliver Director Jeff Raz, a renowned circus performer whose credits including the lead role in Cirque du Soleil, is the co-founder and artistic director of the Medical Clown Project, which provides therapeutic medical clowning in San Francisco-area hospitals and clinics.

When you’re engaging with patients in a hospital, where “life and death” is not just a metaphor, Jeff says, “reading the room as you enter is absolutely key. You have to sense the energy, ‘take the temperature of the room.’ What sounds are you hearing — is the TV on? Is that beep coming from a monitor? Then there’s the visual information: What are the patient’s injuries? Where is the family? What’s the expression on people’s faces? Are there teddy bears and flowers around, or not? What’s up on the walls?”

“In those milliseconds that you’re reading that room,” says Jeff, “you’re finding ways to calibrate your ‘ramp,’ or introduction. And if you’re not taking in the myriad signals, you’re in danger of establishing a one-way communication instead of a dialogue or, worse, of alienating the patient.”

Jeff offers the example of the Medical Clown Project’s Ben Johnson, who, while working in a hospital recently, approached the room of a teenager. As Johnson and his companion-clown entered the room, they read the boy’s body language — it was cheerless, closed off, even hostile.

But Johnson quickly read the room and noticed the rock n’ roll posters on the walls. So the clowns instantly adjusted their act, introducing themselves as a band auditioning for American Idol, and asking the teenager to evaluate them.

They launched into their comical musical performance and the boy smiled and gave them a huge thumbs-down. “His was fully engaged,” said Jeff, “and by the end of the visit, he was laughing and giving a thumbs up. We checked in with the boy’s father at the end of the day — he said his son was in a good mood for hours, even in the face of numerous medical procedures.”

“In business, we don’t tend to enter the room with that same kind of hyper-awareness and real-time adjustment,” says Jeff.

But by borrowing the mindset of a medical clown — reading and responding to the space and the physical “attitudes” of the people in a room — we can gain important cues about how to meet an audience’s needs and create a memorable, effective engagement.

High Performance Communication Tools, Presentation Tips

Damon Kerby on avoiding Q&A crickets

Your big presentation is going brilliantly. The audience is engaged and inspired: Heads are nodding; eyes are lighting up. As you conclude, the audience erupts in applause. Triumphant and glowing, you now prepare yourself for a spirited question-and-answer session.

“Does anyone have questions?” you say, smiling at the crowd.

You wait. Silence.

“Any questions?” you repeat.

More silence. Someone in the back coughs.

Your triumphant mood is slowly soured by doubt. (Why isn’t anyone asking questions? I thought they were with me.)

Nothing can put a damper on that after-speech glow like a silent Q&A session. But a quiet crowd doesn’t necessarily indicate a lack of interest. Often, they simply need a minute to warm up.

You can help with that. Instead of fearing Q&A silence, prepare for it.

During his 24-year tenure as the head of Saint Mark’s School, Stand & Deliver faculty member Damon Kerby learned valuable lessons about understanding  audiences’ needs. Damon says his meetings with prospective parents were among his most important talks of the year, and when it came time for Q&A, he made sure to have a few questions ready to offer as examples—just in case there were no questions right away.

“The key is to put yourself in their place,” Damon says. “Often, parents came to these meetings with some anxiety—worried they might be judged. And for many of them, the simple act of asking the first question might feel pretty intimidating.”

To prepare for this possibility, Damon always made certain to have a few “idiosyncratic” questions ready to ask himself. He might say, for example, “Here’s a question some of you may have: ‘What are some of the eccentric traditions at Saint Mark’s?’ Let me tell you about a few ….”

Damon says he’d choose slightly unusual questions like this because once he’d primed the pump, the standard questions would inevitably emerge.

So as you prepare your next talk, be sure to plan a few questions to ask yourself. Instead of a source of dread, that silent beat at the beginning of Q&A will become another opportunity to give your audience a gift.

High Performance Communication Tools, Leadership

William Hall on Communication Lessons from the Police

When you’re in a conversation, a presentation, an interview or a meeting, how often are you truly paying attention to your audience — and how often are you thinking about the next thing you’ll say?

When we worry too much about our own words, we miss valuable signals our audiences are conveying with their bodies, faces and eyes.

The ability to tune into non-verbal cues is a critical tool for police detectives. It’s also an invaluable skill for any leader — and one that’s too often neglected.

Actor, trainer, improviser, and longtime Stand & Deliver faculty member William Hall helps us understand how we can apply a police detective’s eye to everyday conversations. 

William has worked for years with detectives-in-training in the San Francisco Bay Area, role-playing witnesses and “persons of interest” in simulated interviews, and then offering feedback to the officers on the subtleties of his character’s physicality and facial expression.

Often, during the debriefs, William will ask an officer if he’d picked up on a slight physical tic or shift — William’s position in the chair, for example, or the way he’d crossed his legs.

William says that when officers admit they did not notice this kind of non-verbal data, they’ll usually explain that they were thinking ahead to their next question. For a detective, focusing on his own interrogation strategy at the expense of noticing and adapting to a suspect’s body language can mean missing critical data about whether someone is telling the truth.

While you may not be engaged in high-stakes lie-detection, your ability to pick up on physical cues can have a serious impact on your connection and engagement with others.

“In order to communicate well, we have to maintain our curiosity about our listeners,” William says.

Here are three tips for noticing and responding to non-verbal cues during a conversation:

1.  The Slouch. “One sign of disengagement is the slouched posture,” says William. “If I’m talking to someone and they’ve sunk back into their chair, I’ll often ask, ‘Do you mind if we get up and walk?’ Changing the physicality can change the tone of the conversation.”

2. Happy Feet. “The further the body part is from your chest, the more difficult it is to control. If someone’s hands or feet are jittery, it may be a sign that the person is not completely in the conversation with you,” says William. “If you notice your listener’s body is out of synch with yours, take a moment to check in, verbally. Ask if the conversation is resonating; check to see what you’re saying sounds relevant.”

3. The Crossed-Leg Defense. “When someone crosses their legs away from you, it can be a sign of disconnection or defense,” says William. “Their thigh becomes a big wall separating you from their body.” 

How to respond? Again, you can check in with the person, verbally. (“Am I answering your question? Is this making sense?”) But you can also monitor yourself:  “Sometimes we psych ourselves up about merely getting through a conversation, especially a difficult one,” says William. “This drive can override to our ability to be present and be in the room.”

 

High Performance Communication Tools, Leadership

The Wisdom of George Kohlrieser

The Stand & Deliver team hosted a dinner in San Francisco last night to honor George Kohlrieser, a guiding influence and inspiration in the work we do.

George is on the faculty of IMD in Switzerland, where he is the program director of the High Performance Leadership program.

He’s also a veteran hostage negotiator, and last night he shared with us the story of the first time he was himself taken hostage, while he was working as a psychologist for the Dayton, Ohio Police Department. Here’s how George recounts the story in his book, Hostage at the Table:

While I talked with this man in a [hospital] treatment room, he suddenly grabbed a large pair of scissors and took a nurse and me hostage, saying he would kill both of us. For two hours we pursued a dialogue focused on him, his life-threatening injuries, and the care required to keep him alive. The turning point in the crisis came when I asked, “Do you want to live, or do you want to die?” “I don’t care,” was his answer. I then asked, “What about your children losing their father?” He visibly changed mental states and began to talk about his children rather than his anger at his girlfriend and the police. In the end, he agreed to put the scissors down voluntarily and allowed the nurse and a surgical team to treat him. In an even more surprising moment after putting the scissors down, this very violent man then approached me, with tears in his eyes, gave me a hug, and said, “Thank you, George. I forgot how much I love my kids.” His words of gratitude wired my brain forever to believe in the power of emotional bonding, dialogue, and negotiation with even the most dangerous person. I also surprised myself with the power I had to regulate my own emotion from sudden terror to calm, focused resolve.

George’s work in emotional bonding and directing the “mind’s eye,” among many other concepts, are critical to the work we’ve done with leaders and their teams around the globe during the past 10 years.

If you’re interested in engaging and influencing others, we highly recommend you check out George’s work. Last night we learned that George is well underway with his second book, about the concept of the “secure base.” We’re eagerly anticipating the publication of these words of wisdom from our mentor and friend.

 

 

High Performance Communication Tools

Not your grandparents’ job skills

In a world saturated with information, your ability to communicate effectively, face to face, is more important than ever.

We’ve been saying this for a long time — but there’s now hard data to show that interpersonal communication is an essential job skill in the 21st century.

Yesterday, Robert Seigel of NPR’s “All Things Considered” interviewed Tony Carnevale, of Georgetown University about data from Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Carnevale said that the data show us that, compared with previous generations, there has been a “fundamental shift … from physical skill to skill that has more to do with cognitive function, and more to do with interacting with other people.”

One of the competencies that is now much more important than it was back in the 1970s, said Carnavale, is something called active listening. “The difference between listening and active listening,” said Carnevale, “is what your wife or a partner or a friend will always tell you you don’t do, which is to hear what they say and act on it; that is, to incorporate what they’re telling you into your behaviors.”

This is a skill that the Bureau of Labor Statistics finds is important in 75 percent of jobs, up from 50 percent back in the 1970s.

Carnavale explains why: “People in those days worked shoulder to shoulder, and not face to face. And they were looking at the machine. There are very few of us now who don’t spend time listening to each other to get our work done. And when we don’t hear well or don’t listen well, it makes us ineffective.”

Here is the full interview at NPR.

High Performance Communication Tools, Leadership, Presentation Tips

Why a good speaker is like a dinner-party host.

In our work with leaders around the globe, we talk to many people who think of themselves as good speakers. “I’m comfortable talking in front of groups,” they say. “I  just get up there and wing it.”

What we often find with many of these confident speakers is that they are mistaking their own comfort for effective communication. In reality, although they may be perfectly happy to just “think out loud,” their audiences are less than thrilled to listen to them. An improvised speech often lacks clarity and purpose — and this will leave your listeners at best bored, and at worst angry and resentful.

Now, there certainly are rare geniuses who roll out of bed every morning full of brilliant, beautifully formed sentences. Those singular leaders who can just open their mouths and effortlessly bring clarity and insight to others, all day long.

But, statistically speaking, the chances are that you are not one of them.

Which means you need to prepare.

Before you know what you’re going to say, you need to know why you’re saying it.

If you’re in a leadership role, you will touch hundreds of lives every week. In the absence of preparation, you will probably default to talking about what you want to talk about, rather than what the listener needs to hear. If you haven’t stopped to think about the needs of your listeners, your return on investment is probably a fraction of your potential.

Think of it like a dinner party. You wouldn’t invite people over for dinner, wait until they arrive, and then fling open the fridge to see what’s inside. If you’re a good host, you take the time to think about your guests: Who’s coming? What’s the occasion? What kind of menu would be appropriate? You’re not there to just cook a meal – you’re there to provide an experience. You design a structure for the evening – how many courses? What kind of wine? How do you end the evening on a high note, with a fabulous dessert? The secret is in the preparation.

And communication is just the same.

High Performance Communication Tools, Leadership

A 6-step process for crisis communication

The global economic fears of the past week have sent many organizations and individuals into crisis mode. It’s in times like this that leaders show their true colors — they either retreat and avoid, or they rise to the occasion and act like what George Kohlrieser calls “secure bases” for others.

How will you convey confidence and inspire trust in times of crisis?

Let me share a blueprint that may be helpful.

I recently received an email from a client — the head of sales at a major global bank — asking me to re-send him a template for crisis communication that I’d developed for his team during the subprime meltdowns a few years ago.

My template is loosely based on psychologist Abraham Maslow‘s pyramid of human needs, which proposes that you must fill people’s most basic level of need before you can move on to satisfying more complex needs. During a time of crisis or great change, people’s fears rush to the surface. That’s the time when their needs are most acute. So in this formula you meet the listener’s needs for security, connection and contribution – in that order.

Here are the six steps I shared with the client. I offer them here in the hope that they might provide you a roadmap for leading in times of crisis:

1. “Here is what we know for sure.” Offer certainty. Be honest with them about the things of which you are absolutely sure.

2. “Here’s what we don’t know.” Acknowledge uncertainty, which demonstrates that you’re open, honest and grounded in reality.

3. “This is what I think.” Show connection and authority. You’re allowed to tell us your opinion. People want to know what their leaders really believe.)

4. “Here’s what you can do.” People need to contribute; they need to feel that they’re making a difference. There’s nothing worse, in a dangerous situation, than having to sit around and be idle. Having a job makes them feel instrumental in their own destiny and helps to quell panic.

5. “This is my commitment to you.” (Act as a secure base. Making and keeping commitments is one of the main functions of a leader—it creates an environment of trust.)

6. “Here’s why this is worthwhile.” (Fulfill people’s need for growth. Define a larger purpose that makes the pain worth enduring.)

This list focuses on the positive steps you can take as a leader in times of crisis. But don’t forget to take heed of the common pitfalls, too. For communication missteps, I highly recommend this New York Times piece from last year, “In Case of Emergency: What Not to Do,” which offers some valuable lessons for avoiding the “death spiral of lost credibility.”

High Performance Communication Tools, Leadership

Bad economy? Time to ask for a raise.

“Ask for a raise? Now? Are you kidding me? My company just laid off 300 people. I was lucky I wasn’t one of them. No way I’m going to rock the boat now by asking for a raise.”

Makes sense, right?

Wrong. Uncertain economic times can be the perfect opportunity to highlight the value you bring to an organization—especially following a round of layoffs.

If your company has laid people off, it’s going to a) have extra cash and b) have to deliver more with less. If you’ve survived a round of layoffs, you’re valuable. To negotiate a raise, though, you need to demonstrate exactly how valuable. So schedule a meeting with your boss to show her how you’re helping her solve her problems.

Notice the focus on your boss — and not on you. With that in mind, let’s start with three approaches to avoid:

1) Don’t tell your boss you deserve a raise because you’ve been putting in a lot of time. Focus on the results you’re getting for her and for the organization.

2) Don’t say you’ve heard a colleague is making more than you. That’s not relevant to the value you’re bringing to her and the company.

3) Never ask for more money because you need it. Again, it’s not about you. Your financial situation is not relevant to your boss’ needs.

Here are three ways to do focus on the needs of your listener while negotiating for a raise.

1) Demonstrate that you’re offering more value to the company by contributing to the bottom line.

2) Show that you’re contributing to the culture of the organization: by acting as a role model, solving problems, or strengthening the dynamics and sprit of your team. This no longer an abstract, intangible element for businesses: High performance culture matters for the bottom line.

3) Demonstrate that you’re meeting the boss’ needs. Show that you’re acting as a “secure base” for her, that you’re reducing her stresses, helping her enjoy her job, work more efficiently — whatever it is that is adding value to her life. Remember, she’s a human being who is dealing with same kinds of emotional and personal needs that you are. In fact, she’s probably as nervous talking to you about your raise as you are. Show her that she needs to compensate you more because she needs to keep you around.

High Performance Communication Tools

Why you should start your meetings at 9:38

My father had a long and successful career in the men’s clothing industry, and for years he worked at Fruit of the Loom, for the legendary Jack Goldfarb.

My father used to tell a story about the way Goldfarb ran meetings, and one detail has always stuck with me. Goldfarb used to schedule them for odd times — instead of 10:00 a.m., for example, he’d start a meeting at 9:38 a.m.  This sent a strong but unwritten message about punctuality and purpose. When you say the meeting starts at 9:38, it’s clear you mean exactly 9:38. Goldfarb’s odd start-times also signalled that the actual meeting would start at that time — again, the implied message was you’d be wise to show up at 9:35, to be fully ready to go at 9:38. Goldfarb locked the doors at 9:39, and the meeting would also have an odd, discrete end-time, say 9:56 a.m.

I think this technique is particularly valuable as a remedy for the mind-numbing nature of many of today’s corporate meetings, so many of which are driven by the force of habit rather than by clear intention. We call a meeting for 10, people straggle in around 10:05, the meeting finally gets going at 10:13 and meanders until 11-ish, by which time everyone is tired and tuned-out.

No wonder the words “10 o’clock meeting” strike fear in our hearts!

Next time you schedule a meeting, pick an odd time. At the very least, you’ll provoke some curiosity, and maybe open up a conversation about efficiency and intent.

Oh, one other monotony-busting trick you can borrow from Goldfarb: he used to hold his meetings around a table that had no chairs.